Funny Limericks For Everyone

One day I was walking from town
When my pants suddenly fell down
I thought me, “Oh why”?
Cause I’m very shy
So I pulled up my pants with a frown.

Submitted by Vrushank (Slightly edited)

An old man from Timbuktu,
Made an igloo and painted it blue,
Adorned it with ribbon and lace,
He just loved this space,
The strange old man from Timbuktu.

Submitted by Sridevi (Slightly edited)

A woman with a pointed chin,
Was as sharp as a dolphins fin,
Nobody liked  her,
It was made from bears fur,
She said that it came from a tin.

Submitted by Mary (slightly edited)

There once was a girl from Kalloon
Who wanted to ride a balloon
She went to the sun
And burnt her bum
And now she looks like a baboon

Thanks to LollieLou for this

As we grow and live life on the run,
We can pause for a fond reflection,
Shaking sodas in cans,
Speaking robot through fans,
When we were kids, we were masters of fun.

Another one from Richard Bobo

There are dudes with low hanging pants,
That inspire disgust and our rants,
Someone please tell them soon,
With their half covered moon,
Skid marks do not lead to romance.

Many thanks to Richard Bobo

There once was a man from nepal
who sat and waited for a call
from whom we wont know
t’was quite a show
cause the phone wasn’t plugged into the wall!

Thanks to The Dreeme for this

There once was a woman from Bedlam
Who thought that she had a good plan
When she went to the doctor
She was in for a shocker
When they told her that she was a man!

Thanks to Justis L for this.

Check out http://redriders180.wordpress.com/

There once was an old man from Gosham,
Who took out his false teeth to wash em,
His wife said ‘o’ Jack,
if you dont put ‘em back,
I’ll tread on the b***ers and squash ‘em

Thanks Matt

I once met a lady from Kent
Who was paying phenomenal rent
She complained to the owner
who tried to disown her
How sad she now lives in a tent.

Thanks to John Hewton for this original one

Oh, the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
Thought the hen a magnificent creature.
The hen, thus impressed
Laid an egg in her nest.
And thus did the hen reward Beecher.

Thanks Peter for this.

(Clever last line)

I met an old lady in Wales,
who had some mysterious tales.
When she fought the dragon,
she fell into a wagon,
That creepy old lady of Wales

Thanks to Nadav Hai for this one

I once knew a red kangaroo,
Who didn’t know quite what to do.
And then one day,
he just hopped away,
Because he’s afraid to turn blue.

Thanks Molly.  (Love your email address)

There was an old cow at the show
Who once, from behind gave a blow
All around fainted
the show she had tainted
And now shes stir-fry dont u know?

Maddy from Oz Submitted this one

There once was a man named Abb
Who like to write poetry with jabs
Some were quite funny
Some were quite crummy
But none of it was ever drab

Even more from Spartan!!

Keep ‘em coming folks

There once was a boy and his finger
In his nose would his finger linger
He pulled out a big booger
And said with a snicker
Now that was a real wing dinger

More from the prolific Spartan Caver

In the south we have a battle cry
Give us our Chocolate Moon Pie
With a large R.C. drink
You can tickle us pink
And we are happy on the Fourth of July

Another from Spartan Caver

We found Haywood at the dining room table
To move him we were quite unable,
On this you can rely
It was a pound moon pie
That left him so disabled.

Thanks to Spartan Caver for this

There once was a old hunky monkey,
Who was very cheeky and hunky,
He lived in a zoo,
His toy was a shoe,
And that was the old hunky monkey.

Many Thanks Clara

Mark was a working class bloke
Who’s thirst at the bar kept him broke
But the cancer foundation
Pushed new legislation
Now he goes out the back for a smoke

Thanks Malcom from Oz for this

There was once a woman from Leeds;
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
In less then an hour,
Her nose grew a flower,
And her hair was covered in weeds.

Thanks Lydia (Nice change from the rude version)

My butt and the saddle kept hitting
So often it seemed only fitting,
To drop the word ‘ride’
Semantics aside,
It seemed more like horseback ‘sitting’

Thanks to Mike Dinicola for this (I know the feeling )

There was once a poor old spinster
Who was left alone all winter
When spring came again
They found on the glen
The poor girl died of a splinter

Thanks to Peter Austin for this

There was a man who had the power
to climb the eifel tower
but couldn’t resist
his baby’s interest
of smelling devious flowers

Thanks to Sisifa for this slightly weird limerick

There was once a young man from Staines
Who had a great interest in trains
One day on the line
The train came on time
And the poor man he scattered his brains

Many thanks Peter for this

There was a plump llama named Roz,
Went down to the farm from LaPaz.
Came time to deliver,
She said, with a quiver,
“Come on, guys, let’s start the Lamaze!”

Thanks to JD Glick for this one

There once was a man from the West,
Who wanted to know who made love best.
Every woman in town
Saw who wore the bride’s gown.
His cousin it seems won the test!

Contributed by Dominick (Slightly edited)

There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When they asked him, Why?
He said, with a sigh,
“It’s because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”

Submitted By Timbuctoo

Haven’t checked on this site in a while,
But today I just needed a smile.
While some of these rhymes
Bring groans up at times,
They send my blues into exile!

Contributed By Dot Smith

Thanks Dot

Come on folks – I know you are reading the limericks, let’s have some more submissions from you.

There once was a girl and a blog
To keep it left her in a fog
She went on the “net”
The experts she met
Have told her to work like a dog!

By MollyC