Funny Limericks For Everyone

A bottle of perfume that Willy sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent
Her displeasure she nursed
as she ranted and cursed
That silly scent Willy sent Millicent

Two eager and dashing young beau’s
Were held up and robbed of their clothes
In summer it’s warm -
They’ll come to no harm
But what will they do if it snows?

There was a time traveler called Liszt
Though his friends said he ought to desist
But he said I’d rather
And killed his grandfather
Then found that he didn’t exist

A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail on a most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said “Small Medium at Large”

A group of young students from France
Invented some robotic pants.
When given the chance,
they’d go out and dance.
The students, of course, not the pants.

There once was a troll on a forum.
Who whined that the posts always bored em
so all the others said
get it into your head
that nobody asked you to score em

This one is from Matthew Shannon

Said King Harold at Hastings on day
I’ve thought of a game we can play,
I’ll call it ‘I spy
With my little eye’
And it’s something beginning with ‘A’.

Thanks to Peter Sharpington for this

Two ships, hauling paint red and blue,
Crashed at sea, in a fog thick as stew,
This terrible crash
Caused a monstrous splash,
Which quickly MAROONED the whole crew.

Thanks Hank for this one.

There Once was a young girl named Bree,
who lived at the top of a Tree,
but when she fell down,
she went right into town,
And ended up in the bright blue sea!!

Submitted by Amaneek

There once was a girl from Juneau
though I’m quite sure that you-know
oh she was so kind
but ne’er did she find
why wolves do bark at the moon-o.

Thanks Holly

There once was a woman whose hairs
Got caught in a trap meant for bears
When she saw someone scoff
She said, “Cut it all off!”
And for her hairs she has no more cares

Thanks JoJo for this one

I was taking a walk on the street,
Then I sat on a crooked bench seat,
I fell on my knee
and broke it (poor me!)
So now I can’t stand on my feet

Thank you Rubykad for this

There once was a girl in Natches,
Whose outfit was made out of patches.
When comments arose
on the state of her clothes,
She replied “When I itches, I scratches!”

Thanks to Joshua Williams for this one.

There once was an epicure from Crewe
Who found a rather large mouse in his stew
Cried the Waiter “Don’t shout!
Or wave it about!
Or the rest will be wanting one too!”

A variation on a limerick that’s already on the blog.

Submittted by Anna Burrows (Aged 7)

There once was a young boy named Roy
Who saw a toy and thought, oh what a joy!
He then found a ring
and took it to a fling
but the boy will now destroy his toy! (:

Submitted By Katelyn

Pooh Bear who was great friends with Tigger
And Rabbits ears grew a lot bigger
Roo jumped all around,
His mom yelled “Slow Down!”
So then he proceeded to kick her.

Submitted by Bob Entrackling

I know this may sound absurd
But I have this obsession with words.
I’ve taken up blogging;
It’s more fun than jogging.
So through limericks I like to be heard.

In a small Pennsylvania town,
I grew up just hangin’ around.
After high school graduation,
The world was my fascination.
Amman, Jordan is now where I’m found.

My interests are my kids and cooking
Along with reading and lots of facebooking
I hope that my themes
will reign supreme
and keep you coming back and looking.

Submitted By AlmondJoycie

Check out her blog and use the limerick tag to see what she’s got.

www.joycefied.wordpress.com

There once was a leprecahn named jimp
Who noticed that he had a limp
He’d got a peg leg
Ended up with the plague
and unfortunately died eating shrimp

Submitted By Robert

There once was a boy from Cancun
Who swallowed a helium balloon
He exclaimed in dismay
As he floated away
I’ll see you, on the dark side of the moon

Submitted by Craig (I guess he’s a Floyd fan)

There once was a girl named Tyana
she liked to eat ripe banana
it was so hard to peel
she thought it was steel
and that is the tale of Tyana

Another one from Jack Carpenter

There was once a girl named Ana
Who wore a green bandana
she went to Tijuana
with her pet iguana
but then she moved to Atlanta (to see Santa)

Thanks to Jack Carpenter for this

There once was a girl called Anna
Whose favourite was Hannah Montana
She sat on the floor
Quite close to the door
And waved her hands in the air like a banner

By Anna Burrows aged 7

There once was a little green pear
Who was mean and just wouldn’t share
Along came a plum
Who said “give me some!’
And he said “No I wont! That’s not fair!”

By Anna Burrows, aged 7

I love this one

There once was a fat red radish
Who acted, well, kind of madish
He blew up his house
Just to kill a mouse
He was sorry he acted so badish

Submitted by Taylore Baker (Slightly edited)

One day I was walking from town
When my pants suddenly fell down
I thought me, “Oh why”?
Cause I’m very shy
So I pulled up my pants with a frown.

Submitted by Vrushank (Slightly edited)

An old man from Timbuktu,
Made an igloo and painted it blue,
Adorned it with ribbon and lace,
He just loved this space,
The strange old man from Timbuktu.

Submitted by Sridevi (Slightly edited)

A woman with a pointed chin,
Was as sharp as a dolphins fin,
Nobody liked  her,
It was made from bears fur,
She said that it came from a tin.

Submitted by Mary (slightly edited)

There once was a girl from Kalloon
Who wanted to ride a balloon
She went to the sun
And burnt her bum
And now she looks like a baboon

Thanks to LollieLou for this

As we grow and live life on the run,
We can pause for a fond reflection,
Shaking sodas in cans,
Speaking robot through fans,
When we were kids, we were masters of fun.

Another one from Richard Bobo

There are dudes with low hanging pants,
That inspire disgust and our rants,
Someone please tell them soon,
With their half covered moon,
Skid marks do not lead to romance.

Many thanks to Richard Bobo